Saturday, April 9, 2011

Soul Mates

I didn't use to believe in soul mates. Well, I did, and then I didn't. And now I do again.

Some explanation: Like many young girls, I used to be a hopeless romantic and dream of meeting my Prince Charming. All throughout high school, I kept waiting for Charming, but he never showed. Then I thought I'd found him my freshman year of college. Tim was perfect; good looking, intelligent, funny as hell. We dated for nearly 4 years and thought we were going to last forever. Well, the universe often takes what we think we want and turns it on it's head. Tim and I broke up at the beginning of last year because we were slowly realizing we'd reached the natural conclusion of our romantic relationship, but we've stayed best friends since then.

After that I thought I didn't believe in soul mates anymore. I mean, I thought Tim was The One, and everyone could see how that turned out. During my next relationship, I started formulating new ideas about soul mates and the people that cross our paths. I started coming to the conclusion that as long as your heart is open, the universe will bring you the people you need in your life at that moment. Tim's new girlfriend Patty likes to say that Tim and I were always Meant To Be as friends, but that maybe we got the cosmic signals crossed and tried to make it work as lovers, and that she and Tim are true soul mates, as are Bruce and I. According to my "universe brings you who you need" idea, that's a narrow way to look at it, but I understand where she's coming from. I don't think Tim and I were Meant To Be in the forever and ever way, but I totally think he's exactly who I needed to be dating when I was 19.

Anyway, so there I was not believing in Soul Mates until I met Bruce. When I first met Bruce, I was single but casually seeing someone. However the more I got to know Bruce, the more attracted to him I was. It was Tim's suggestion that I invite him to my birthday party, even though I didn't know him so well. At the party, as we got progressively more un-sober, I was blown away how amazing Bruce was. Even though I was seeing someone else (someone also at said birthday party) I couldn't help but spend all my time talking to Bruce. The next morning, I was officially obsessed with him. I let communication trail off with the other guy (we both were coming to the conclusion that while this was fun, we weren't really such a perfect match). One thing lead to another, and now I live with Bruce and I couldn't ask for a better relationship.

So back to the topic of soul mates. Bruce coming into my life when he did totally supports my idea that the universe brings us who we need, when we need them, but the love we have totally shatters my idea that soul mates don't exist. Bruce is absolutely my soul mate. So what about when I was so sure Tim was my soul mate? Well, I think there's lots of people who we are meant to be very close to, but it was my relationship with Bruce (and, admittedly some trippy mushrooms) that made me see that we absolutely do have one perfect soul mate, we just have to be conscious enough to recognize them when we see them, and therein lies the hard part for most people. So many people get caught up in the idea of The One that sometimes they stop looking after they find the first candidate that meets the most criteria for their perfect mate. I think when you've found your soul mate, if you're truly being conscious, you'll know right away.

This all sort of leads back around to my ideas of destiny and everything being One, but those are topics for another post, so stay tuned. Instead I'll leave you with my two favorite stories about Bruce.

The night of my birthday party when we spent so much time talking, the subject of my thyroid disorder came up. I have Hashimoto's disease which is an auto-immune disease in which my body tries to destroy my thyroid because it can't tell that it's a necessary organ, and instead has got some crap idea that it's an alien space ship. Or something. Anyway, as I was explaining, Bruce interrupted and asked about treatment and cures. I said that while Hashimoto's is very treatable, it's so far incurable. He grabbed my hand, looked straight into my eyes and said "Bullshit. I'm going to cure you. Somehow." It's the nicest thing anyone has every said to me, and that was when I knew I was falling completely head over heels.

The second story took place only yesterday. When Bruce and I don't have anything to do, we go hang out in this little spot behind the local shopping center. It's this quiet little seating space with benches and some grass, and quite a lot of parking space for impromptu soccer, and is right by the smoke shop which is handy since all of us either smoke cigs or weed. Since I find it a bit boring to just hang out all the time, I'll sometimes sit in my car doing my own thing, but with the windows down so I can participate. Yesterday I was chilling and finishing up my Peace Sign Granny Square. When it was done, I showed it to Bruce who thought it was pretty cool. Then I pulled out my book and started reading. The next thing I know, Bruce keeps running over to the car, reaching in the window and grabbing my granny square, and then waving in the face of one of our friends saying "Look at what she made! Isn't this cool!!" I was so tickled because while Bruce has alway said nice things about my finished projects, he usually doesn't go waving them in all our friends' faces. When I explained it's going to be a full blanket of peace sign squares (and not just a potholder as he originally mistook it for) he gave me the look I have come to name the Dropped-Jaw-of-Awesome look and practically screamed "THAT IS SO COOL!"

<3 Butterfly + Bruce <3


  1. aww Bruce sounds really sweet. I'm glad you guys found each other. XD

  2. That is one sweetie you have!
    I believe in soul mates. I'm married to mine :O). When you least expect it that someone comes around the corner and enters your life as good things come to those who are patient. I thought I'd be dating for awhile when I decided I was ready to date again and boo yah! I met my hubbie who understood me, listened to me, respected my opinion, and adored me. Everything started falling into place like a puzzle and here I am a SAHM with two beautiful daughters and a hardworking husband who drives 1.5 hours each way, 2x a day to work hard for us.

  3. It's always great when your SO brags about your fiber creations. I'd call him a keeper!

  4. I'll bee your blog soul mate! We can share our funky thyroid situations and our crazy hippy tendencies.